Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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