That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
