things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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