Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
