shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
