That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
