He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
