The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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