let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
