If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
