Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I need moral support for this bender
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
