it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
