I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
