how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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