I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
