Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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