I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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