I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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