yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
