dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We have started to decorate penises.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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