i need an iv and a liver transplant
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
