Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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