if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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