Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm passing your future prison.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
