Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
