Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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