went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
