While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
