They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
