clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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