Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
