I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize