Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
