Having a random hookup so left but love u
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
