I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
