Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
