Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We got so high we made milksteak
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
