so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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