I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
They are going to name an STD after you.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
