Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
