O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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