Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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