How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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