Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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