Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
