dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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