you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize