Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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