she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
