You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
