I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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