Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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