I cockslap morals
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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