birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
