yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
