i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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