Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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