We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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