my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
