that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
