Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
