So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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